


spring was when he lost his heart (renmin)

by neotheworld



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angels, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, One Sided Love, Short One Shot, havent edited this yet, i love renmin too, renmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 00:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16336166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neotheworld/pseuds/neotheworld
Summary: renjun’s a member of the journalism club and is one of the literary page writer. jaemin is the editor-in-chief who happens to be renjun’s bestfriend as well. everything’s going well until spring came.





	spring was when he lost his heart (renmin)

huang renjun woke up with tears in his eyes. he felt it again inside him as if he's almost dying. well, for renjun, he knows that the time of his death will soon come for him that's why he's no longer surprised.

 

or it could also be today.

 

it happened years ago and he doesnt have any idea how he got it but one thing is for sure, it could be because of one special person.

 

it only happens when that special person is around.

 

huang renjun is a member of the journalism club and is currently a writer in the literary section. he is always seen hanging out with their club’s editor-in-chief, na jaemin who happens to be his bestfriend. everyone is already fond of their friendship and some even ship them.

 

sad to say those ships are just pure imagination and a dream.

 

a dream renjun wants to come true. he pretends that he doesn’t like it but inside, he wants it to happen. he wants to be with him.

 

it may sound creepy and weird but he always think of how jaemin’s arm would perfectly fit his body— he imagined what its like to cuddle with him.

 

whenever they’re alone together, working and talking about the school paper, jaemin is really serious and strict yet he still shines brightly. he’d read renjun’s writing and smile and motivate him. he’d tell him, “you did great once again, renjun-ah!” those are just simple words but it can make renjun’s heart beat really fast almost like it’s going to get out of his chest.

 

2 weeks before spring, renjun is starting to feel different. it’s no longer a mere admiration and crush. he whisper to himself. renjun stayed indenial with his feelings until the day where flowers bloom came.

 

spring started it all.

 

“i’m so sorry to disappoint everyone and once again, thank you!” jaemin finished his speech and smiled at everyone he shared an eye contact with. his eyes met renjun’s and still kept the smile on his face and slowly walk to his direction.

 

“why are you leaving the club?” appearantly, the speech jaemin had earlier is his good bye speech to the club. the editor-in-chief position is now passed to a freshmen.

 

jaemin shrugged and patted renjun’s shoulder. “i just feel like i want to. good luck and continue writing, renjun! your poems always overwhelm me! i’m glad this club have you because they have a wonderful literary page and piece every month, thanks to you!”

 

“no, jaemin, thanks to you.” thanks to you because all my writings are about you.

 

“thank you for what?” jaemin chuckled. “you wrote those, renjun! i only helped you with your metaphors. acknowledge yourself, okay?”

 

this is one of the reason why renjun admires jaemin. he’s so sincere. you suddenly just don’t want to believe in the saying, “actions speak louder than words” because jaemin is so good with his words. every single word coming out from his mouth are sincere. it’s obviously from his heart. you will feel it once you heard it.

 

but even though jaemin and renjun are laughing at each other that time, renjun noticed the sadness on jaemin’s eyes.

 

he’s hiding something.

 

days passed, the sun is shining brightly and the flowers are looking much more beautiful than the first day of spring, jaemin keeps skipping his classes which is very unlike him.

 

renjun starts to believe that there is something wrong. he's deeply worried that his bestfriend might be hiding something; like he might be in pain or he has struggles that he's lifting on his own. jaemin’s probably having a hard time and renjun has no idea how he can help him.

 

renjun waited for their last subject’s dismissa and as soon as he’s out of their classroom, he starts to search for jaemin once again.

 

after an hour of almost having a hide and seek with na jaemin, renjun finally found him.

 

but he didn’t like what he saw.

 

there was his bestfriend and the boy he loves, na jaemin. . kissing another man who happens to be a friend of renjun as well. it was lee donghyuck. renjun stayed quiet.

 

he forgot one thing about his bestfriend.

 

he’s a natural flirt.

 

that’s why he’s good with words.

 

renjun couldn’t take what he saw and runaway but he has no idea that he is being followed; followed by a pain and a curse.

 

he opened the comfort room's door and looked at the mirror. he washed his face to cover the tears coming out from his eyes. he wiped his face until he felt dizzy. he felt like he ate something bad and he wants to vomit it. renjun’s throat starts to get itchy and that’s when he keeps on coughing, trying to remove what’s in his lungs. once again, he faced the sink and what he saw was horrible yet. . . beautiful.

 

the flowers that bloomed inside his lungs and chest and existed because of his unrequited love for someone. renjun’s facial expression can't be explained, his knees starts to get weak and his throat still feel itchy; he wants to cough again. renjun keeps on coughing while every flower petals coming out of his mouth keeps falling on the floor..

 

"w-what is this," he asked himself. "why is this happening to me."

 

renjun finally managed to feel normal again. he stood up and washed his face. after wiping his face, he looked at the mirror and saw a man standing on his back, smiling like he’s the very last hope of renjun.

 

"hello there, mr. huang renjun, i'd like to explain what is happening," the man rests his right hand on renjun’s left shoulder. "you're sick."

 

"i'm completely healthy."

 

"no, son, you're suffering from hanahaki disease," renjun’s expression changed to annoyed and confused. his reaction made the man smile wider. "the hanahaki disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. the infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals."

 

"w-what? are you stupid? there's no such thing as hanahaki disease!"

 

"are you sure about that? you've seen it yourself. the proof is in your hand and. . . inside you,” renjun frozed. he stared at the flower petals on his right hand and those that fell on the floor. he also reached out for his chest and he can feel something painful in his heart. renjun starts to feel anxious and afraid. not just with the disease but also the man beside him. "so, huang renjun, you may wanna stop staring at me now, you only have 2 days left. if you don't make a decision, you'll die."

 

"no! i can't die, what decision are you talking about?"

 

"would you like give it a try for the surgery but you're no longer going to feel something for na jaemin or suffer for the remaining 2 days and die with your unrequited love for him?"

 

die. unrequited love. surgery.

 

renjun doesn’t want to die. he still wants study more about aliens. he wants to see them. he would want to visit where they live.

 

but if he stays, his unrequited love for jaemin will kill him.

 

if he undergo the surgery, he’d still be alive but he won’t feel anything.

 

but renjun still wants to feel something. he doesn’t want to completely feel blank— yet he doesn’t want this unrequited love to keep hurting him.

 

although having his feelings with him for 2 days is better.

 

don’t you like making someone feel loved? that even though they have no idea, you just want to pour all the love you have to one person because you believe that they’re special and even if they won’t love you back, it’s just really nice that you love someone.

 

because love makes everyone happy and united.

 

renjun accepted his fate.

 

he stared again at the reflection of the mirror and there he saw the man looking at him, “c-can i ask what are you first?”

 

“i’m an angel and why ask “what” when you can ask “who”! my name is jeno, it’s a pleasure meeting you renjun.”

 

rnejun only nodded as a respond. the whole comfort room became quiet. only the sound of their breathing can be heard. it was interrupted when renjun mumbled something.

 

"i-i. . ." renjun closed his eyes and slammed the bathroom sink. "i'll go with the surgery."

 

"why?" the man's creepy smile came back as he questioned him.

 

"because i'm in a one sided love just like what you said! i'd rather kill the feelings than myself!"

 

"good choice, i'll be back tomorrow for your surgery, alright?" renjun wants the surgery to happen today because he doesnt want to cough flower petals 'til he comes home but the man with the creepy smile who happens to have a name— jeno, disappeared like an ash.

 

 

。。。

 

 

 

"hello, this is angel jeno reporting, i have found a heart to transfer for the child with heart failure disease. the donor's name is huang renjun."

 

"very good, angel. what will happen to this huang renjun guy?”

 

"well... he'll have a different heart; one that doesnt beat for others but only for himself so he' be able to continue living but he won’t feel anything even love nor hatred.”

 

"alright, thank you, angel. mission accomplished.”

 

**THE END.**

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever short fic please bear with my grammar and my lack of literary skills. i still do hope you enjoyed reading!


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